"I feel boxed in." -"Vicky's Box" by Throwing Muses
It's been a hell of a month for me. Well, January rather, but February is shaping up to be the same way. My mood has been mixed for such a long time I don't know what's coming next. Depressed but restless, sad yet energetic; my two halves have joined together.
I'm having trouble sleeping. I keep waking up early in the morning. Every time I do I want to go back to the blackness but I can't; once I'm up, I'm fucked.
I had a dream two nights ago about dying and it didn't bother me in the least. I haven't had urges to act on it, thank god, but at the same time it's just kind of "meh." Then again, I do frequent gore sites so I guess I'm just desensitized.
I have to go back to school tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. It's going to be hot, crowded, and stressful. I'm going to hate almost every minute of being there. Thank god I have friends. If I didn't I would have been found dead in a ditch somewhere by now, probably with a needle in my arm or something like that.
Okay, maybe not that horrible, but still. My friends mean a lot to me and not having any would be the death of me.
I'm sorry about the lack of posting, I really, truly am. It's very difficult to bring myself to keep up on things in my current state. I'll try to post again in the next couple of days with another Quick Overview or something like that. Don't know what it will be about but it's going to happen, damnit!
If you're reading this, have a good day. Sorry this post was so short, I just have things to do. I've been on the computer in my room all day and I have shit that needs done.
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